Tired of the abuse- but paralyzed to move on because of my age.

Transitions between classes are becoming more chaotic. The kids used to have goals like following instructions, expressing oneself appropriately, avoiding conflits, acceping decisions of authority and respecting boundaries, which most of them tried to attain. Infractions meant consequences. Yesterday and today I had nine students in my tiny, windowless room, where they are sitting very close to one another. They talked over me, hugged and held each other, ridiculed me, used vulgar words, sexual and racist in nature and did nothing that I assigned.
Yesterday, one girl y the group for disrespecting a teacher who has such passion for her job and cares fr them. She also mentioned how humiliated I must feel each day. Today, however, she was not much more polite than the rest. I don't want to go back tomorrow.

And I never thought…

That when one is kind

To others

That others would be

Mean-spirited

To one who cares so much.

Too much?

And I never thought

A group of kids

Anywhere

Would have venom

 in their hearts.

That could strike like a spear

To one who cares so much.

And I never thought

I’d feel invisible

And be called names

Like ” liar”

And be laughed at

An object of indifference

I tried to care so much.

And I always thought

That if I showed my passion

It would draw them to my class

“Welcome all creative minds”

“I’m always here for you”

But I am the one

Who feels unwelcome.

And I always thought

“I’m sorry. I’ll be a better me”.

Would be just that.

I ask only for respect

Bur it’s the lack of

That I get back.